Stigma and Shame are a part of addiction.

We as a culture throw more shame on the already mounds of shame that both the loved one suffering feels and the family members feel too.

Can you see here why it would be so hard for the loved one and the family to come out of denial and acknowledge the truth of what they are facing?

It’s safer to keep it hidden. We don’t want to face the stigma attached to whatever trial it is we are facing that labels our family in some unacceptable, disgraceful way. Fear of rejection, fear of being stigmatized, and dealing with shame make it very difficult to admit there is a problem. It’s easier to say, I don’t have a problem or my loved one doesn’t have a problem.

But until we can acknowledge there is a problem, our families cannot get the help they so desperately need.

Let me digress for a moment and talk about stigmas. What is a stigma anyway? In an article written by the John Hopkins Medical Team, they define stigma this way:

“Stigma” is a word that comes from Latin and Greek, and originally meant a burn, tattoo, or other mark inflicted on another person to signify their disgrace.

Today, stigma means labeling, stereotyping, and discrimination. One example is using disparaging or judgmental terms to refer to addiction, people with substance use disorder, or treatments for the disease.”

They go on to say:

“What causes stigma of addiction?

A large body of research indicates that stigma is persistent, pervasive, and rooted in the belief that addiction is a personal choice reflecting a lack of willpower and a moral failing. Rates of stigma are extremely high both in the general public and within professions whose members interact with people with addiction, including the health care professions. Research demonstrates that stigma damages the health and well-being of people with substance use disorder and interferes with the quality of care they receive in clinical settings.”

Herein lies one of the root problems in helping families find the healing they and their loved ones need.  Acknowledging that my son had a substance use disorder meant I had to face all the inuendoes of the stigma.

• What would others think of me, my son, and our family?
• Would we become the castaway family?
• How would it affect my other children and their interactions with others?
• How would they be treated?
• Could we handle the pain of feeling like we are a disgrace to society?
• How would we handle the pain of rejection?

It’s so much easier, or at least it feels so much easier, to keep it hidden in the dark and make-believe it’s not really happening in our family.

Dealing with all the stigma issues is only the tip of the iceberg when faced with acknowledging to myself that my son had a substance use disorder.

These are the external factors. But the internal issues run much deeper.

Share your experience below:

How have you experienced stigma in your life? How did you handle it?