He needed me to be present, strong, resilient, and proactive right then and there!

• He needed me to put my emotions aside.
• He needed me to put all the condemning voices aside.
• He needed me to pull myself together and be there for him.
• He needed me that day whether he knew it or not.

Tomorrow might be too late. If it weren’t for the intense fiery jealous love, I had for him, I’m not sure I could have stepped up to the plate that day. But, I did. I knew I had to. It might be a matter of life and death. Hence, no more denial.

I had to acknowledge this is reality and I needed to deal with it right then and there in the present moment. And God gave me the grace and strength that day to finish my walk, enter my home and be the mom he needed me to be.

Beloved, if you are a parent of a child who’s gone astray, maybe it’s not drugs, maybe they are in prison, maybe they’ve joined a cult, maybe they’ve joined a gang or they hang out with shady people and you don’t know what they are involved in, maybe they’ve left the faith and have joined some other religion, maybe it’s the pain of a divorce and your children were caught in the crossfires and now your relationship with them is estranged. 

Whatever it is that you are facing that has shattered your heart and you feel like a failure as a parent, I want you to know God sees you. He understands your broken heart. And He wants to heal every part of your broken, shattered heart. He is faithful and He will do it. Psalm 147:3 TPT says “He heals the wounds of every shattered heart.” He promises to give you beauty for your ashes.

“As for those who grieve over Zion (over your children, spouse, or another family member), God has sent me to give them a beautiful crown in exchange for ashes, to wrap them in victory, joy, and praise instead of depression and sadness. People will call them magnificent, like great towering trees standing for what is right. They stand to the glory of the Eternal who planted them.” Isaiah 61:3

May I invite you to open your heart to the One who loves you, and your family more than even you do.

He is the father of the prodigal child who took all his inheritance, left his father and his home, went to a distant land, and lived a wild lifestyle pleasing his fleshly desires.

We can only imagine the places this son frequented, the behaviors he engaged in, or the people he hung out with. It wasn’t until his son spent all his inheritance, ended up eating with the pigs, that he came to his senses and thought to himself maybe my father will take me back as a hired servant. He saw himself unworthy and undeserving to be brought back into the family as a son. He knew what a wreck he made of his life. And I wonder if he knew the pain, he caused his family.

And what was the father’s stance towards this wayward son? The father patiently waited for his son to return home. I’m sure he was filled with sorrow and heartache from the time his son left home. I’m sure he missed him immensely.

Why do I think this? It is because the story tells us when the father saw his son yet still a long way off, he was filled with compassion for him and he ran to his son and threw his arms around him and kissed him. There’s no sense of rejection, condemnation, or judgment from the father.  As a matter of fact, we don’t even hear the father blaming himself or others.

He just lovingly waited with a heart full of mercy, love, and forgiveness for his son to come home.

And when the son was finally home, the father was ready to throw a celebration party for his son. He even says “For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.” (Luke 11:24 NIV). Can’t you just hear in this story, a happy father so overcome with the joy of having his absent, lost son home again?  (Luke 11:11-31)

The father in this story is representative of our Heavenly Father who is perfect in every way. Yet, his children over and over again rebelled against him all throughout the Bible.

Like the children of Israel, we too, often stray away from the Lord. We lose our footing. We rebel. We drift away from the One who loves us so. He knows our frame. (Psalm 103:14) And like the Psalmist we too can say, “You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing.” (Psalm 16:2 NIV)

The Father lovingly waits for all of us to come home to Him. Scripture makes it clear “There is none righteous (none that meets God’s standard), not even one.” Romans 3:10 AMP And again “For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard.” Romans 3:23 NIV We all need a Savior. And Jesus made the way for all of us to become “righteous” in Him. “For God made Christ, who never sinned, to be the offering for our sin, so that we could be made right with God through Christ.” 2 Corinthians 5:21 NLT

Our Father loves us so much that He sent Christ to die in our place even while we were far away from Him living as prodigals ourselves. “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8

My friend, I understand just how hard it is to wait for a loved one to come to their senses and find their way back home, home to the Father, home to your heart. May I encourage you, while you are in the season of waiting, don’t condemn yourself, don’t blame yourself, don’t throw yourself under the bus.

You are not a failure. God loves you.

Yes, you may have made mistakes, but we all do. I made plenty of them. However, that does not make me or you a bad parent, a failure. Those are lies of the enemy.

Instead, rise up and with God’s amazing grace you can contend for the soul of your loved one through prayer, through doing your own heart work, and through taking good care of yourself.  

The Lord wants to bring healing and restoration to your heart as you wait for your loved one’s return.