Not one more problem! I’m too worn out!

Ever hear of the saying, one problem leads to another problem! Sometimes it is true especially when dealing with family issues.

If we leave one problem unresolved, it often opens the door to other problems. And suddenly we have a host of problems.  The more problems we have, the more complex things get, and the harder it is to resolve the many issues.

Does your family like to sweep things under the carpet?

I know this was true for my family. I know many families tend to sweep their problems under the carpet. But sweeping challenges or problems under the carpet doesn’t mean they go away. When another crisis hits, it’s likely that those things that were swept under the carpet will suddenly resurface.

And this is the scenario I experienced when I discovered my son had a substance use disorder. Many of the issues that were left unresolved and not dealt with resurfaced. Not only did they resurface but they came up with a vengeance.

Here I am dealing with a horrific situation and what does my mind do? It brings up from the recesses of my heart all those hurts, griefs, disappointments, unresolved issues. And when they come up, it’s like a flood of emotions comes with them.

To say I was overwhelmed was an understatement. What do I do with all these unresolved problems that are surfacing while I am in the midst of dealing with a family crisis?

Have you ever been overwhelmed by the number of trials you’re experiencing in your family? Does it ever seem like to you, you go through one trial only to face another one on the heels of the first one. Or maybe you have multiple trials going on all at once and perhaps some of them you’ve been walking through for many years. I get it. That was my life.

I had experienced so many trials in my family life. It seemed they just came one after another and some of them were unending long-term trials.

And being the fixer and enabler that I was, I exhausted myself trying to fix all the problems. I was worn out.

Frankly, I had just about given up. I never gave up on God.

No, I gave up on me being able to fix all the problems my family experienced. I just had nothing left to give.

t’s in this state of being that I then find out my son is using Heroin.  Needless to say, this tired momma didn’t have too many options. One more time she had to pull her bootstraps up and get in the saddle and deal with the situation. But how could I deal with this situation if I was already exhausted?

Herein lies one of the roots of why it was so hard for me to acknowledge to myself that my son had a substance use disorder. I just felt like I didn’t have the emotional, mental or physical capacity to deal with one more problem. And so, it was easier to deny that the problem was as serious as it was.

Reflecting back, it was like I subconsciously said “God I can’t look at this challenge. He’s your God. You deal with him.”

On the surface that sounds like a good place to be: I’m surrendering Him to the Lord.  And while yes, I was surrendering him to the Lord the other half of that is I was surrendering to the fatigue, to the battle weariness that I felt.

In that place of fatigue and battle weariness, I turned my head the other way and didn’t see what I didn’t want to see. I was just too exhausted. Did I do all this consciously and intentionally? No, not at all.

This is just what I have realized as I’ve processed why it was so hard for me to acknowledge to myself my son had a substance use disorder.

In what ways have you had to deal with many trials in your family? How have you been impacted by those trials? May I encourage you, my friend, to take some time to let God restore your soul?

• Be still, my friend, and know that He is God. (Psalm 46:10)
• He will never leave you nor forsake you. (Deuteronomy 31:6)
• He offers you a resting place in his luxurious love. Let his tracks take you to an oasis of peace near the quiet brook of bliss. That’s where he will restore and revive your life. (Psalm 23:2-3 TPT)
• And know this, your labors of love for your family are not in vain. “God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people (your family) and continue to help them.” (Hebrews 6:10 NIV)
• Like me, you may not have done things perfectly but God understands. He loves you and He loves your family with an everlasting, unending love. Not only that, He is drawing you and them with unfailing love to Himself. (Jeremiah 31:3)

Therefore, be encouraged that God is at work in your life and the lives of your family members as well. I pray for you, my friend, that God will strengthen you with His infinite power, according to His glorious might, so that you will have everything you need to hold on and endure hardship patiently and joyfully. (Colossians 1:11)

You are dearly loved.